Monday, September 26, 2005

On Being Complete

It is said that when the Buddha transitioned that many people cried except for a few followers. They did not equate his death with separation- it did not occur to them that they had lost their beloved, so why should they cry with the rest?

I am in a "why?" mood tonight... and it's good to ask why- makes us aware that we really don't know a damn thing. When it's all said and done- who really knows jack? I mean...really, really knows anything for sure. Do you know what I mean by know?

What do you know? What do you deep in your gut, beyond a shadow of a doubt, no need for discussion, sustains you when everything else fails....know for sure? What is the one thing that when you close your eyes at night and try and drift off to sleep with the rattling going on in your mind, with the drunken monkeys swinging to and fro in the tree that's your mind- what's the one thing that lulls you to sleep and grounds your feet and brain and keeps you from going insane?

A kid died today- his name was Brent- BJ for short. I didn't know him...only knew of him. If you care you can read about his life and death here. Right now a lot of people that loved him, knew of him are asking... "why?" His parents aren't asking why though. His sister isn't asking, his church isn't asking, those who really knew BJ aren't asking why he went where he did, did what he did, and had to die because of it. They know....they know the why...and there is a peace beyond words holding, cradling them right now.

Why are you here- why are you even reading this?

In Memory of Brent Higgins who is now everywhere, in all things.


Blogger Trev Diesel said...

Thanks for this touching memory and reflection, Tommy.

9:57 PM  
Blogger Amy Harden said...

Thanks Tommy..

12:07 AM  
Blogger Jon said...

Life is such a strange thing, really, being spirit framed in matter, forgetting heaven to live in a body. Strange also seems to be the remembering, and going home.

BJ's sudden and mysterious demise reminds me of St. Dominic Savio, a kid in Don Bosco's orphange who confided to Don Bosco that he'd be going to be with God soon, and died of an unknown illness a few days later.

One lesson is complete, for that give thanks, for the experience, give thanks, even for the pain, give thanks.

And thank you for sharing from the beauty and transparency of your heart, Tommy

7:51 AM  
Blogger Twyla said...

What an amazing family. My prayers are with them. Thank you for sharing his story with us, along with your honest heart.

10:21 AM  
Blogger Meredith said...

Along with our friends, I thank you for this touching reflection. I am so amazed at the strength of BJ's family - not asking why at this time, but knowing the why, the peace beyond words that holds them right now. Remarkable strength.

2:08 PM  
Blogger Jack Maitre said...

In the face of loss, to ask why is to deflect one's self from celebration of the life lived.

6:32 PM  
Blogger "James" said...

I do not have any words of wisdom here. Just love and Oneness. I don't think that any of us "know" anything. We can only "be" in this moment and love it for what it is.

To love and to be loved is a beautiful life.

2:45 PM  
Blogger Buford said...

Death is what makes us human; it ties us to this earth. Without death we would be something else not of this earth, not of even this universe.
The morning of loss is just a celebration of the life that has ended. Who cares where any of us go when we die? While were alive we have no way of knowing.
All the speculation about death is, as far as I'm concerned, wasted energy.

Life and love are only for the living.

Of course theses thoughts are the thoughts of a spiritual atheist.

Besides the world is populated enough as it is.

4:05 PM  
Blogger Buford said...

One more thought... there is no "why?"
Bad things sometimes just happen to good people.

Be here now!!!

4:12 PM  
Blogger isaiah said...

"Who cares where any of us go when we die? While were alive we have no way of knowing."

Many people care, James. Countless acts of violence, war, slavery, and murder are committed every day as well are acts of compassion, love, and healing...all in the name of higher consciousness.

How we choose to see and relate to death- is how we choose to live and see our life.

"All the speculation about death is, as far as I'm concerned, wasted energy."

What speculation? Only choosing to believe one begins and ends opens the pathway for questions.

"Life and love are only for the living."

How easy we can say this- having lived the charmed lives we have.

"One more thought... there is no "why?"

Sure there is James- I just asked myself why. Every day billions of people ask themselves why- you ask yourself why. And just because 'good' things happen to 'bad' people doesn't halt the questioning.

Perhaps once we realize that "good" and "bad" are relative (and only thoughts- like "why?" we can begin to live the fact that things happen to people...and we choose to label these things with our relativity.

"Besides the world is populated enough as it is."

If I didn't know you I would think this a rather cruel comment to make regarding the death of someone else.

But- I know you...and know you are just commenting as you see and experience life.

What do you know, James? What do you know that would lead you to risk your life to save another?

11:47 AM  
Blogger isaiah said...


One thing we must keep in mind is that although we are safe in our relationship between life and death and what we believe is or is not beyond this body, there are those who are very afraid of death and what they have been taught about life and death by religion and Western society as a whole.

It is our duty, if we can and where we can, to alleviate this suffering over death by living our lives and the belief that death is not what it has been portrayed to be. Whatever our beliefs about death- you and I do agree; it isn’t what we’ve been led to believe.

You know my goals regarding working at some point in my life with Hospice. I don’t need to know all the answers. Answering questions isn’t our (yours, mine, Hospice, religion) only job- it’s more about living the answers…and affording compassion to those experiencing death---and life!

Simply standing as a being of compassion, and being willing to listen and comfort those experiencing the process of living and dying, and holding each other in the light of kindness & consideration…these are qualities we need no answers for. Each of us is called to do just this; in our own way and where we can.

12:36 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

I'm in complete agreement. All religious and metaphysical "explanations" fall flat with me.

I was born into the world naked and amazed, and I know that all those purporting to "know" what life is all about came similarly adorned...

I can't account for being. Being itself is inexplicable.

But I think we can learn a few things about ourselves and our relation to the larger reality along our way...

11:07 AM  
Blogger Buford said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3:29 PM  

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