hings I don’t have, don’t possess, who I am not- I can choose to focus on these things and create a myriad of imaginable, minute dramas each portraying why I don’t have these things, how I can get them, how I would feel owning them- and still, I’m no where closer to what I desire. Sometimes I fall in love with the drama, the play of consciousness most rewarding; that which I choose to feed.
Things I do have, tangible or intangible, and who I truly am- I tend to overlook, and here is where I am becoming more aware- I am in possession of all that I need, as I am. Desiring more, results in resistance and that guarantees more of what I don’t have. But even desiring to not desire brings about a resistance, which offers its own paradoxical guarantee. Becoming aware of where my head is at and seeing desire for what it is: a thought process composed of lower energy seeking attunement with highest energy, is enough (what is highest energy but a realization that all is perfectly fine, here & now- even thoughts that things are not.)
It involves a most peculiar navigation into something profoundly mysterious where I must, must lose my way- even my very self, to arrive at the end, which is where I began. My “wayward” expedition into the mystery is a journey shared by every living soul. I know I am never alone. We are collectively on this journey, each of us trading turns showing the way.
Sitting around the fire last week, Trev Diesel
played an original song called “Sharptooth” which is “a retelling of an ancient Indian tale about a tiger being raised by goats (thereby believing he himself is a goat)” in which he sang the following lines,“Lift your voice and let out a shout, you’ll see the limits you’ve lived with, you’ll know the power you’ve lived without.”
We are destined to own the paradox of being both tiger and goat, which is the same as the journey into the mystic. Each of us while on the same path feels like we are alone, that there is something we are missing, something we are or we are not holding us back, but this is a falsehood which is in place so that at our weakest, we can call forth that which is always already in us- that will save us. Only when we’ve seen the limits we’ve lived with can we know the power we’ve lived without.“At any moment in time, all Spirit is concentrated at the point where we focus our attention.” Wayne Dyer