Monday, March 07, 2005

"How Am I Not Myself?"



"How am I not myself?"
from I Heart Huckabees

I am reminded by an intense and marvelous dream last night that as spiritual beings we are comprised of both light and darkness. Denying either the light or darkness brings us into conflict where there is no lasting peace or happiness. I know sometimes we tend to shy away from the darker sides of our being, rejecting the possibility we could harbor such emotions- but it’s very much an important part of our well being, otherwise this presence would not resonate so powerfully with us.

Call it uncertainty, loneliness, infirmity, apathy or whatever you will that brings out the darkness, one thing is sure; all these emotions can be bundled up in one word: fear. It is what we fear will happen, what we fear will come to be, what we fear that is beyond us that comprises our darker selves. There is fear somewhere in us all and it can cripple our thinking and growing if we allow it to.

There is, however, a larger truth; a truth that cannot be shattered if we only quiet ourselves of our shaking in fearful thought, listening for the voice that is ringing true at the very depths of our being. That voice says, “There is nothing beyond you but an ever returning to that which you came from.” That which we emanate from can be called many things: source, the creator, spirit, inclusion, God; all of these too can be summarized in one word- Love.

We must experience the dark in order to see the brilliance of our light. How else can we know ourselves? How else can source recognize itself?

In the ancient symbol of Yin Yang there is both light and darkness and separating the two is a thin line where neither the light or the darkness exists. It is such a small space where each ends and the other begins, where one blends into the other that sometimes we fail to recognize this important feature that very much exists.

This fading, one into the other is the ego and our ideas of what is and is not. It is of such little significance and yet it is the space that divides us from ourselves. We are the whole; light and darkness, and we simply cannot waste any more time on the edge of recognizing our true nature and higher consciousness.

Sometimes it seems a long, hard way to the lightness of our inner being but it is only a breath away, waiting until we choose to turn our face to the luminosity of all- being. When we experience all-being it becomes no-being and we no longer recognize our self as separate from any other thing. This is the dream where we are awake. Everything that ever was, is presently, and will be- you are.

3 Comments:

Blogger Trev Diesel said...

"We must experience the dark in order to see the brilliance of our light. How else can we know ourselves? How else can source recognize itself?"

In my darkness last week, I finally began to understand this. We shouldn't deny or be pissed that we are experiencing the darkness - how else will we know the light? And resisting what IS is insanity anyway! Envelope it! Thanks once again for your wisdom... for being transparent and allowing the Ground of Being to shine through you.

11:28 AM  
Blogger Meredith said...

I've always enjoyed this light/dark descriptor of our experience. I, too, have experienced these intense spectrums of feeling. I continue to be so curious about the fear part - what are we so afraid of and why? Understanding how this connects to our ego is a big piece of the work, it seems.

Is love alone enough to annihilate the darkness or fear?

I appreciate what you wrote about fading, "one into the other is the ego and our ideas of what is and is not. It is of such little significance and yet it is the space that divides us from ourselves." Wow! This really speaks to me. We are the whole - the light and the dark, yet we must move from the edge - from the precipice, to recognize our true nature and higher consciousness.

Thank you Tommy - the "Lightness of your inner being" shines so brightly.

12:15 AM  
Blogger Meredith said...

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12:16 AM  

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