Just What I Needed

Words of wisdom "discovered" this morning on musician David Orri's website.

Check out his beautiful song, "Chicago"

"I don't know if I believe in the idea that there's one person out there for us. That seems a little limiting for such an expansive universe. But I do like the word "soul" and I do like the word "mate."

I've heard Wayne Dyer say, many times, that our soulmates are most often the ones who can just totally get our proverbial goat. The person who can just get right into that disarming, sometimes disorienting, and always very sensitive point right at our center, and in one way or another, drive us to edge of crazy and 100 miles beyond that edge. Most of us have a sibling who is a soulmate of sorts in that way- - for good and otherwise.

Only the people who get right into the center of our heart like that can get a rise out of us-- again, be it a 'good' or 'bad' one-- either way. And man, have I been given plenty of evidence of that lately.

But it's also interesting to 'take the seat of the observer' and watch what 'I' am doing in the moment of reaction. And it's interesting because, to reference Dyer again, if you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out, the kind of juice is what is because it's in there to begin with, not because it got squeezed. If life squeezes me-- applies pressure or stress, or if a person or a relationship offers a stress or pressure point, and what comes of me is anger, defensiveness or negativity, that's what was in there. The only thing the stress did was reveal what was already there, laying in wait to reveal itself.

Life is full of little Buddhas, teachers, who cross our path and shine a light for us. And again as Dyer points out, sometimes our soulmates in life are those Buddhas and we'd like to kick their ass for shining it right in our face. But as I learn to allow more deeply, see myself in the center of some negative reaction, I am learning to relax into it- keep part of myself seated in that observer's position and just note, "Yep, there's sadness masquerading as rage" and not grab onto it and turning it into something tragic-- "MY" sadness or "MY" rage. I'm learning to allow the coming and going of the different tides, and not let it run away with me. I'm learning to stay present. Breathing. But also not getting down on myself when I'm in a place of not-allowing, as well. And little by little, those soulmates and Buddhas come along to show me where I'm clinging or resisting, and I do loosen my grip. Just a little. And then a little more the next time. Until finally, there is a little more space.

And ironically, in the increasing openness of allowing and not needing to grab onto anything or repel anything-- including my own negative reactions-- my life becomes a little more spacious and a little more expansive. And has room for those things I always wanted to flow into my life-- things I had so wanted to clutch onto and cling to, but no longer need to. Because when I step out of the way, it just flows in on its own.

Including those much sought-after soulmates and Buddhas who come to shine their lights. And the best part is that it turns out, their lights are not as blinding and irritating as I might have previously thought once the eyes have adjusted. They're just illuminating.

So, to the handful of 'soulmates' who I think are shining some pretty intense spotlights on areas of my life... I kind of wanted to kick your collective ass for that. But it turns out, that's probably just proof I really did need what you were offering up... so... thanks. I appreciate you."