What Is Enough?

Sensing myself moving away from the silence (how long has it been since I really wrapped myself in complete silence and drifted, just drifted in this thought....) I find it difficult to regain my footing and I slip past the edge and into the chaos. This isn't me; why am I acting this way?

I am sensing a disturbance in the Force (did I just write that?) Yes, I did.

And like a lost little boy, I wander around inside my pitiful ness at being unsettled and vow to be stronger, be bolder in not resisting the urge to become angry; to just let it be- see my anger, breathe in...and breathe out and away....

But it comes again, and at such short intervals, gaps becoming murkier and murkier. This isn't what I know to be, why do I loose my center and fade into the grayness?

Does it take unbalance to recognize balance? Yes, that must be it. How much unbalance? Writing helps to makes sense and restore a centeredness... but for now, I let this unbalance be, and experience this question.

There is a reason.

I am reminded by my friend Meredith that behind all, including this, is Clear Mind. I choose now to step into the silence and recognize what I am- and what I am not.

It is enough.

"God makes us ask ourselves questions most often when He intends to resolve them. He gives us needs that He alone can satisfy and awakens capacities that He means to fulfill. Any perplexity is liable to be a spiritual gestation, leading to a new birth and a mystical regeneration."

Thomas Merton